How to help keep your children safe online

The internet is a great place for people to meet and socialise as well as finding out information on every subject you can possibly think of. It really isn't too much of an exaggeration to say that it's an alternative reality with many similarities to the 'real' world.

When you're sitting at home in front of your computer it's easy to forget that the internet can actually be a very public place. When you're in a chat room talking to someone, there could be hundreds of other people reading everything you type. Any information you give out may be seen by everyone else in the chat room - in fact, these places are a lot more public than a crowded street!

Unfortunately, this public aspect of the internet means that children and teenagers can be exploited by the wrong sort of people. Anybody who listens to the news will have heard stories of children being 'groomed' or girls being enticed away from home by men.

Having said all this, it should be noted that the internet is not a dangerous place. Many millions of children use it every day and only an extremely small number ever experience any problems.

Just as in the 'real' world, applying a bit of common sense can minimize any dangers. Young children are taught by parents not to talk to strangers, and the same sort of rules should be applied to the internet.

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Who's most at risk?

Any child is a potential target for people that want to cause them harm. The threat ranges from bullies to paedophiles.

Because they are more independent the most at risk group are teenagers, and especially teenage girls. Girls are likely to be 'hit on' repeatedly when they are online and they should never respond to any approaches.

Where does the risk come from?

When talking about online safety there are three main types of people that can be a threat to children and teenagers:

1. Other children and teenagers who use the internet to threaten or bully.
2. Adults who may or may not pass themselves off as children or teenagers and who have the intention of forming an inappropriate friendship or relationship.
3. Adults who use the internet to 'groom' children for sex.

I'm specifically talking about threats that can lead to physical harm, I cover the threat from inappropriate material later in this document.

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Basic Rules for Children and Teenagers to stay safe online

Following this short list of rules will help children and teenagers keep themselves safe on the internet.

1. Always keep your identity secret

   You should never give out any information that could be used to locate you in the 'real' world. This includes your name, address, phone number (including your mobile), the school you go to or any other information that could be used to identify you.

2. Never meet someone in 'real' life who you've met online

   This can lead to situations where you put yourself in danger. Remember that someone you meet online may not be the person you think they are.

   If you do think you want to meet someone, discuss it with your parents and seek their advice. Any meeting should be done in daylight and in a crowded place, and you should never go alone. Preferably have your parents go with you, or another adult that you can trust.

   The safest procedure is to have your parents talk to the parents of the other person and have both sets of parents there at the initial meeting.

3. Don't reply to emails, IM messages, chat messages or any other communication that makes you feel uncomfortable.

   This includes any communications that are hostile, too friendly, suggestive or that you feel are inappropriate.

4. Don't disclose your email address.

   This can lead to someone sending you inappropriate emails that make you feel uncomfortable or threatened or at the very least could lead to your email account being sent lots of spam email, viruses and Spyware.

   Consider creating an email account with one of the free providers like Hotmail that you use only for online stuff. If you start to receive unwanted email you can just stop using that account and set up a new one.

   If you set up a temporary email account make sure that you don't use your name in the address, or any other information that could be used to identify you.

5. Don't use your real name when registering online.

   If you need to register for a service in order to use it, or to display a screen name, create a nickname for yourself that can't be used to identify you.

   You should make the name gender-neutral (so the name doesn't give away whether you are a boy or girl). Girls often get 'hit on' online and making your screen name neutral can help avoid unwanted attention.

6. Avoid leaving personal information in internet profiles.

   Many social networking sites and Instant Messenger services allow you to create a profile about yourself. These profiles often include personal information that can be used to identify you and may be visible to anyone on the internet.

   You should avoid completing profiles, especially ones that include personal information.

7. Talk to your parents about what you do online.

   You will probably know more about the internet and things you can do on it then your parents do. Help to educate them by talking to them about what you do on the internet and listen to their concerns.

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Basic guidelines for Parents to help keep your children safe online

1. Talk with your children about the internet and what they can and cannot do online.

   You can learn a lot about the internet this way and it will hopefully help to ease any concerns that you have.

   Explain to your children what you concerns are, the things you don't want them doing and why.

2. Be reasonable in your expectations.

   Understand what your children want to do online and why. Discuss this with them and don't set rules that are too restrictive - they will probably be broken!

3. Encourage you children to come to you if they feel uncomfortable.

   Both you and your children will feel happier if they know they can come to you should they experience any situations that make them feel uncomfortable.

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The Different Areas of the Internet

Long gone are the days when the only useful thing you could do with the internet was send emails! Now the number of services is almost limitless, and people are constantly having new ideas to make the internet more powerful, and fun, for everyone who uses it.

The following sections describe some of the main risk areas for children and teenagers, what the risks are and how to avoid them. It should be noted that this list cannot hope to cover everything but you should see that the policies to help avoid danger are consistent and can be applied to any areas that aren't covered.

Websites

Websites are the most familiar places on the internet for the majority of people, and you may be wondering where the risk is here!

A threat from standard web-sites is if they contain inappropriate material. While this will not lead to any physical harm, it could be argued that they cause psychological damage and distress.

Perhaps a bigger threat is posed by viruses, Spyware and other malicious software. Many sites on the internet can infect your computer simply by visiting them, or more likely they will require a program to be downloaded in order to access some part of the site. You will usually be asked whether you want to download the program - and replying 'Yes' could lead to infection.

It's in the nature of children and teenagers to explore, and this makes them more likely to visit some of the more remote sites on the 'Net where the danger of malicious software infecting your computer is highest.

There are many sites on the web that require you to register to access their information. While this is a perfectly normal part of the internet it can lead to children providing the information that identifies them. This could result in a deluge of spam emails, or in the worst case could lead to someone being able to locate them.

If registering for a site on the internet and there's no reason for that site needing personal information I recommend leaving the registration fields blank. If you have to provide information consider making up false entries.

There is a lot of free 'fun' software available on the internet. This includes screen savers, games and many more. While a lot of this software is harmless, much of it also includes viruses, Spyware and other malicious software.

It's not realistic to think that children won't download this type of software, but they should be made aware of the risks. To maximise your protection against these risks you should always have a good firewall, anti-virus software and specialist anti-Spyware software.

We have links to some excellent software on our Essential Software page.

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Social Networking Sites

These are sites that provide a community for people and provide services such as blogs, internal email, photos and profiles.

Popular social networking sites include Bebo, Myspace, Friendster and LiveJournal.

The social nature of these sites makes them particularly appealing to children and teenagers. As many as 60% of some of these sites registered users are under 18, and this makes them appealing to sexual predators.

These sites are really just places where many of the other tools described here are put together in one place. The individual dangers are discussed throughout this document.

There is excellent information about these sites at:

www.thinkuknow.co.uk/fun/social.aspx

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Chat Rooms

A chat room is a website that allows lots of people to talk and interact in 'real' time. Some of these chat rooms can have hundreds of people online at the same time, talking to each other on a whole range of topics.

When used correctly, chat rooms can be a fun place for children and teenagers to socialise and make new friends. Unfortunately they are also used by people to entice children into situations that can cause them harm.

This is probably the most well known risk to child safety on the internet. Many of the stories that we read in the media about children being 'groomed' for sexual purposes or enticed into inappropriate relationships have started in chat rooms.

Chat rooms can be fun and with a little thought can remain safe.

The most important thing about these rooms is that you should NEVER, under any circumstances, give out any information that could result in someone being able to locate you in the 'real' world. This includes (but is not limited to):

• Name
• Address
• Phone number (home or mobile)
• School you attend
• Details about your home town
• Email address

Remember that in a public chat room everything you say can be seen by everyone there.

It's also important that you don't give out any information about other people that could be used to locate them.

The second piece of advice is that you should NEVER agree to meet anybody you've met in a chat room.

It's possible to pretend to be anyone when on the internet. Just because someone you've become friends with says they're your age and sex doesn't mean they are.

Older teenagers may think this rule is one to break - if you're one of them I would urge you to think twice. If you do decide to meet someone, please make sure that it is in daylight, in a public place and that you don't go alone. If possible, try to persuade your parents to go with you and make sure other people know what you're doing.

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Discussion Boards/Forums

A discussion board (also called a discussion forum) is a service that allows people to post messages that can be seen by many people. Some boards are public, so anyone can see the information posted while others only allow registered users to see the information.

These boards are not 'real' time so they are not used to have online conversations; however they have the same dangers.

As with chat rooms it is very important that you do not post any information that could be used to locate you in the 'real' world.

Also, it is common for registration to involve disclosing your email address which may then be added to your post when it is displayed. Discussion boards are regularly scanned by email spammers to collect email addresses. I would again recommend that you create a free email account that you use for registration on discussion boards. If you start to receive lots of spam or inappropriate emails discard this account and set up a new one.

The other thing to remember with all online activity, but discussion boards in particular, is that the information you post could remain publicly available for a very long time. Think about what you are posting … could it come back to haunt you in later life?

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Instant Messaging

There are various instant messaging services available, some of the most popular are provided by Microsoft, AOL and Yahoo. These services allow people to chat to each other in real time giving the ability to socialize across the world for free.

In order to chat with someone using these services they have to either invite you to join their friends list or respond to an invitation from you. This gives you a certain level of control, however it is extremely important that you are careful about who you accept invitations from.

When you create an IM profile you are usually able to provide a lot of personal information and specify whether this information can be viewed by other people. Because a lot of this information could enable you to be located in the 'real' world you should not provide it.

Unless you're talking to someone that you know personally you should avoid giving out any personal information during IM conversations. Also avoid giving out information that could be used to locate other people.

It is possible for people to record their IM conversations as a file on their computer. Be very careful about what you say in these conversations - it could come back to haunt you in the future!

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Blogs

Blogs are like online diaries or journals and have become very popular over the last couple of years.

Generally blogs can be viewed by anyone, so information that you put in one may be public.

It is common for blogs to include very personal information and this makes them particularly dangerous. I have seen blogs where people post all their private details, including photos, name and address.

I would recommend that nobody posts this sort of information in a blog, especially children and teenagers.

Remember that none of the information you post online should be able to locate you in the 'real' world. Also, remember that any information you post in a blog could stay online for many years. Putting your private thoughts in a public blog could be extremely embarrassing (or worse!) later in your life.

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Peer to Peer networks

These services allow people to share files and documents stored on their computer with other people.

The technology is very popular and allows people to share any of their files. Unfortunately these networks are often used to illegally share copyrighted material such as music and films.

Peer to Peer networks can also be major sources for the spread of viruses, Spyware and other malicious software

When you install the software required to join one of these networks you have the ability to specify the area of your hard disk that you want to be able to share with other people. If this is not done with care it could result in files being available to other people that you don't want to be made public.

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Emails

Everybody who has an email account knows about spam email and the more your email address is known on the internet, the more spam you get.

I've talked about how you should avoid giving out you email address and how setting up a temporary, free email account with a service such as Hotmail can be an effective defence.

You also need to be aware that email is a favored way to spread viruses around the internet, as well as the risk of phishing emails. Some of these emails are very tempting, and their attachments can cause a lot of damage.

Anybody with an email account should treat unexpected emails with caution and never open attachments that they aren't expecting.

Unfortunately, viruses are often spread by emails from people you know - perhaps they forward a fun program they received. Not opening any attachments is unrealistic and stops email being useful, the best way to help defend yourself against this threat is to make sure that you have a good firewall, anti-virus program and anti-Spyware program and that you keep them up to date.

We have links to some excellent software on our Essential Software page.

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What to do if you feel threatened or uncomfortable with someone you meet online

If you come across behaviour that you think is inappropriate there are things you can do about it.

If the situation occurs while you are using a website you should contact the people who run the website and report it to them.

You can also visit the website of the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre which has a link to report complaints or problems.

In their own words:

"this is like a virtual police station where you can make a complaint or report a problem. Your problem will be seen by a police office, or a specialist investigator and they will contact you to let you know what will happen."

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Restricting unsuitable content

The main purpose of this document is to help protect children from online threats that could cause them physical harm. Another aspect that you may want to consider is protecting your children from inappropriate content on the internet.

One of the largest benefits of the internet is the fact that it is like a giant library and you can find information on any subject. Unfortunately, this also means that there's a lot of information and images on the internet that you probably don't want your children to see.

It's very difficult to find advice on this subject as it is so subjective. What one family may consider totally unsuitable, another may think is borderline or OK. Just like what food people think is suitable, or what television.

You can talk to your children and set rules as to what they can and cannot visit on the internet, although any such rules may be like a red flag to a bull for many children - curiosity is a powerful force!

Alternatively, you can sit with them while they're on the internet, and for small children this is probably a good policy. This doesn't prevent them from accidentally visiting inappropriate pages though, and as they get older they will soon start to resent such monitoring.

Another option is to install a content filtering program that blocks the information that you don't want them to see. We have links to two good products on our Essential Software page, just click on the heading 'Protect your Family' at the top of the page.

There are 'child friendly' search engines and site ranking tools which will also help to restrict access to unwanted content. One such search engine is www.surfsafely.com

Unfortunately, no solution is 100% effective and you may need to accept that your children will see images and information that you would prefer them not too. If not in you house, it could be when they are at a friend's house.

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Places to find more information on this subject

The information in this document has been pulled together from some excellent websites on this subject. We can only hope to cover the main points here, but if you want more information please visit these great sites:

Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre

The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre is a government organisation tackling child sex abuse.

If you're an adult you can visit their main site at:

www.ceop.gov.uk

If you're a child or teenager they've created a website specifically for you, this has great information that I think you should read. Visit it at:

www.thinkuknow.co.uk

Childnet International

Childnet International is a non-profit organisation working to "help make the Internet a great and safe place for children". You can visit their website at:

www.childnet-int.org

Safekids.com

This is an American site that contains good advice about staying safe online. They have various sites aimed at different aged children. You can access them at:

www.safekids.com

Microsoft

Microsoft have a lot of information and advice on this subject and you can access it by visiting:

www.microsoft.com/athome/security/children/default.mspx

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Related Documents

So what is this Internet thing?

Spot the emails that will steal your money!

Spyware - what it is and the risk to you

Viruses - what they are, what they do and how to protect your computer

Firewalls - what they are, what they do and why you need one!

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